Education
Why do children start believing this?
A child struggles with a maths problem while the classmate next to them finishes in seconds. The teacher moves on, and somewhere between that unanswered question and the next lesson, a thought begins to form: perhaps I’m simply not good at this.
Most parents have heard the phrase “I’m just bad at maths.” Sometimes it follows a disappointing test, sometimes an evening of frustrating homework. Occasionally, it appears almost casually, as though being bad at maths were as permanent a characteristic as having brown eyes. What makes the phrase troubling is how easily a temporary difficulty can become part of how a child sees themselves.
Children aren’t born believing they cannot do maths. They develop that belief through experiences, comparisons and the messages they receive from people around them. And once it takes hold, it can begin to influence the way they approach learning.
The bigger question
“Children aren’t born believing they cannot do maths. They develop that belief through experiences, comparisons and the messages they receive from people around them.”
01
Children begin judging their abilities against those of their classmates surprisingly early. A large study involving more than 21,000 pupils in Luxembourg found that social comparisons were already associated with academic self-concept in the first year of primary school.
In a classroom, these comparisons happen constantly. One child answers immediately, another needs more time. One receives praise, another asks for help. Both might eventually arrive at the correct answer, but only one gets to demonstrate it in front of the class. To a child, it can become another piece of evidence about where they stand.
02
We tend to assume that children who are anxious about maths must also be struggling academically. But the relationship is more complicated.
A 2018 study published in the *Journal of Educational Psychology* examined mathematical performance and maths anxiety among 1,757 schoolchildren aged 8 to 9 and 12 to 13. One finding was particularly striking: 77% of children with high maths anxiety had typical or high mathematical performance.
A child might understand the material perfectly well and still dread being asked to solve a problem in front of classmates. Maths anxiety can involve fear of mistakes, embarrassment, pressure during tests or the uncomfortable feeling that everyone else understands something you do not.
77%
Of children with high maths anxiety had average or above-average maths performance.
Source: Devine et al., *Journal of Educational Psychology* (2018).
03
Consider a simple question: 7 × 8 = ?
One child immediately answers 56. Another works it out differently: 7 × 10 = 70, then subtracts 14 to arrive at exactly the same answer. Both demonstrate useful mathematical skills, and neither response tells us which child has a deeper understanding of mathematics.
Yet in a classroom, speed can easily become a substitute for ability. Children notice who finishes first, and the slower child may conclude that everyone else is cleverer. Speed matters, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.
04
Confidence and achievement influence each other. Previous mathematical performance helps shape how capable children believe themselves to be. Those beliefs can, in turn, influence their engagement with learning.
Encouragement matters, but it becomes more meaningful when children can connect it to something they have actually achieved. Yesterday, a child needed help with every fractions problem. Today, they solve one independently. These small experiences provide evidence that learning is happening.
05
Adults have a curious habit of describing themselves as hopeless at maths. Someone who would never casually announce that they cannot read might cheerfully admit that numbers have never made sense to them. Parents sometimes say the same thing when trying to comfort a frustrated child: “Don’t worry, I was never good at maths either.”
The intention is kind, but it can suggest that mathematical ability is something people are born with rather than something they develop. Children notice these attitudes, particularly when they come from adults whose opinions matter to them.
Research into parental maths anxiety has produced mixed findings. A widely discussed 2015 study suggested that frequent homework help from maths-anxious parents was associated with poorer mathematical progress and greater anxiety in their children. However, a larger replication study published in 2026 did not reproduce that particular finding. There is no good reason to conclude that parents who struggle with maths should avoid helping their children.
What matters is how that help works. Taking over the pencil and solving a problem may get the homework finished, but it does little to help the child approach the next question. Asking them to explain what they have tried, identifying where they became confused and working through it together can be more useful. Parents don’t need to remember every formula from school. Sometimes “I’m not sure either, shall we work it out?” is a perfectly good place to start.
“Not every difficulty with maths is a confidence problem.”
06
Not every child who says they are bad at maths has a confidence problem. Some have gaps in foundational knowledge, difficulty recalling number facts or trouble understanding particular concepts. Mathematics builds on earlier learning, so a small misunderstanding can make later topics considerably harder.
A smaller group of children experience persistent mathematical difficulties associated with learning differences such as developmental dyscalculia. This affects the development of numerical and mathematical skills, but it cannot be identified simply because a child works slowly, dislikes maths or receives disappointing marks.
If difficulties persist despite appropriate teaching and practice, it is worth speaking to the child’s teacher. Understanding exactly which skills are causing problems is far more useful than simply encouraging a child to try harder. Some children need additional practice, others benefit from a different explanation, and some may need specialist assessment.
Recognising that a child needs support is important. Allowing that difficulty to define what they believe they are capable of is another matter.
07
When a child announces that they are hopeless at maths, our first instinct is often to disagree. “Of course you’re not!” or “You’re very clever!” may sound reassuring, but neither response helps identify what the child is struggling with.
A better starting point is curiosity. Ask which part of the problem is confusing and invite the child to explain how they tried to solve it. A wrong answer might come from a misunderstood question, an arithmetic mistake or a concept they have not yet grasped. Each requires a different response.
Children tend to remember what they cannot do and forget what they have already learned. Remind them of something they struggled with a month ago but can now manage independently. A small success provides more convincing evidence of their ability to learn than general praise.
An incorrect answer tells us something about a particular attempt, not about a child’s intelligence. Understanding why an answer is wrong is part of learning mathematics, and children benefit from seeing adults approach mistakes calmly.
If the same difficulties keep appearing, talk to the teacher about the specific skills that need attention. Confidence matters, but so does getting the right help.
Parents don’t need to become maths teachers. They can help by making it safe to ask questions, allowing time to think and showing that not understanding something immediately is an ordinary part of learning.
08
Children struggle with things at school every day. They forget information, misunderstand instructions, make mistakes and sometimes need more time than their classmates. Yet mathematics has a peculiar ability to become part of a person’s identity. Long after leaving school, adults still describe themselves as “not maths people”, often with a certainty they would never apply to their ability to learn another skill.
A difficult maths problem might mean a child needs more practice, a different explanation or additional support. It does not tell us what they will be capable of learning next year.
Children don’t just learn maths at school. They also learn what to believe about themselves.
Devine, A., Hill, F., Carey, E., & Szűcs, D. (2018). Cognitive and Emotional Math Problems Largely Dissociate: Prevalence of Developmental Dyscalculia and Mathematics Anxiety. *Journal of Educational Psychology*, 110(3), 431–444. DOI: 10.1037/edu0000222
University of Cambridge (2019). Understanding Mathematics Anxiety. Research report supported by the Nuffield Foundation.
Maloney, E. A., Ramirez, G., Gunderson, E. A., Levine, S. C., & Beilock, S. L. (2015). Intergenerational Effects of Parents’ Math Anxiety on Children’s Math Achievement and Anxiety. *Psychological Science*, 26(9), 1480–1488. DOI: 10.1177/0956797615592630
Written by the kids.cy editorial team. Reproduction of our content is permitted only with an active link to kids.cy.